Well, here I am, exactly 1 month post grad and out of the Wittenberg bubble.  To my surprise, the world is still spinning, I am still a functional human (somewhat) and my parents and I are still on speaking terms. 

So far this summer, I have stayed busy which has been the key to my sanity.  De-Wittenberg-Bubbling was rough to say the least.  I thought graduation weekend would be the biggest pill to swallow, however, it was greatly overshadowed by adrenalin and bliss.  Thus, the toughest part of leaving the place that I called home for countless days came AFTER  G-word weekend as reality began to take its toll. 

Let me tell you. Knowing that you are about to leave a place that has shaped you, encouraged your personal growth, and given you 4 of the most crucial, triumphant, and bittersweet years of your life- is difficult in itself.  Now, it is even MORE upsetting to realize that as soon as you leave that place, no matter how many times you may be there again- it will never be the same. To you. Yeah, ouch.  That house that you lived in will be occupied by someone else.  Those places where you used to hang out will be inhabited by unfamiliar faces.  And, the fairytale college lifestyle where your social network and greatest friends are a house, a text, or a party away- becomes just that: a fairytale. 

What I have learned though is that life does go on.  Sure, it takes time.  I’m still talking about it: oh my gosh I’m done with school, I don’t know what to do with my life- so dramatic.  The truth is though, that there are thousands of people just like myself (and the recent class of 09) who are going through the EXACT SAME THING.  And you know what? So did the class before us. And so will the class after us.  So far- the survival rate is pretty good. Sure some people are lucky and have jobs right away.  Some have their lives planned out on little post-it notes by the hour.  But, the majority of college graduates are doing it all the same: letting it fall into place as it should.  Yes- you plan here and there- try to get the opportunities lined up for yourself… but things will come into place eventually. It is not worth the stress, the tears, or the hour long freak-out phone calls worrying about not being capable to survive the real world.  Every Wittenberg graduate is equipped for the real world. Yes, I will say it. Dream, breathe, believe, and relax.  Everything falls into place as it should. 

These have been 4 of the greatest years of my life, and to Wittenberg University- the people it has allowed me to meet and the experiences that these people have allowed me to have- I am eternally grateful.    

peace- love- and 2009. =)

As the days dwindle, I find my main concern/frustration is how to absorb all that is Wittenberg as efficiently, memorably, and quickly as possible (obviously pushing aside what is left of academics and the future for a hot second).  As different as every person is here, so are all of the ways that people desire to soak up Witt appropriately.  Some people think drinking is the way to make the most out of the time remaining.  Some people are the complete opposite.  Some people are counting down the days in anticipation to leave. Some people, like myself, are still living happily in their denial bubble- and when people clammor on about next year, its only words without feelings associated. 

Amidst the chaos that is senioritis and Witt ora absorption, the most important aspect is to stay true to yourself. It is easy to get caught up in doing what others think is the way to absorb- forgetting what makes YOU happy and Witt-full.  So, if you want to party, do it BIG. If studying is your thing, cram away.  If you want to soak up Witt by doing absolutely nothing each and every day, v e g e t a t e.  And, if you want to simply take the day as it comes and make sporadic last minute decisions, procrastinate to the fullest!

As long as you stay true to you, you can’t go wrong. 

Whatever you decide is YOUR way to make the most of what is left of “college,” figure it out fast, do it now, and don’t look back. The sun is out, spring is here, and each day is gone before you know it.

 

Peace, Love, and Happy Absorption.

Yes again, another blog regarding “the future.” It has become sort of an obsession.  It is increasingly hard to not contemplate the future when the basis of almost every senior conversation seems to include: “What are you doing after college?” Oh yes. That dagger of a question.  Frankly, it is a question on every senior’s mind (with the exception of those lucky few who just “know” their path). It is both scary and exciting.  

It is also a question that produces constant inner turmoil and over analyzation.  It is beyond frustrating to spend hours pouring yourself into an application, send it in, wait for months, and then to receive a generic e-mail lumping you in with everyone else as to why you were rejected.  How can they reject you when you feel you would have been a perfect fit? How can they really know? It is difficult to feel like you have given your best in an interview when everything seems so mechanical and staged.  If they really knew you, they would see your personality, your passion, and truly understand your reason for being there. I have both experienced these obstacles and seen my friends experience them. After a while, you hit a breaking point. Or several. 

Last week, I hit another breaking point of frustration and uncertainty about the future (shocking).  However, I also received some of the best advice I have ever heard.  When I first approached my friend about the situation, her words made me want to like design a class of 2009 Wittenberg t-shirt:

“The future will always be there, but Wittenberg won’t.” I mean yes, Wittenberg will always be here- but for us seniors, it won’t be. At least not the in the same way as it has been for the past 4 years.  And it’s true. It’s the reason I chose to attend the Columbus Bluejackets game the night before I took the GRE as opposed to slaving away to study.  It is the reason why I have been easily persuaded to go out even when I probably shouldn’t. Sure academically speaking my grades have probably hit a small downward slope, but the memories and fun- the things that outlast any test score are what matter.  These last few weeks should be about soaking up the Wittenberg ora- not freaking out about what will happen after graduation- that will happen inevitably.

The other bit of advice came from my dad, who basically told me to stop analyzing (again, shocking).  He told me that when he was in my position, he watched the movie the Graduate which freaked him out so much that he wrote a letter to his parents telling them that he didn’t know what he was meant to do with his life.  All of that stress proved to be a waste of time because he ended up taking the LSAT by default and found the path that he was meant to take. The bottom line is, those who love you unconditionally will support you until you do find the right path.  And sometimes that path is not reached by plan or by skill but merely by fate.

I know this probably seems like a bunch of crazy talk, but to me its starting to make sense.

So, I think I’m good until the next case of freaking out about the “F” word.

peace, love, and happy senioritis.

So it is extremely hard to not talk about being a senior in every blog. I guess this one will follow the trend.

Spring break is 2 weeks away. And what happens after spring break? TIME GOES BY EVEN FASTER. Oy.

I must say that I am picking up on little pointers as senior year progresses along. First of all, I have become comfortable in my social network.  I have learned to (as best as I possibly can) let the petty things slide and focus on the issues that are worth the stress and the analyzation.  Its still a tricky process coming from someone who tends to care about way too much, but there are vast improvements being made by the week.  I have also learned to accept the “holy hell I am going to miss this place” moments.  I no longer fight them. There have been times during soccer season and random moments doing things like walking through the student center when it dawns on me that every moment here for the remainder of my senior year is a small luxury.  Even when I drive around I find myself looking just a little bit harder at my surroundings and appreciating them that much more. 

Anyways, despite all of this I am looking forward to spending a relaxing week in Key Largo, Florida for Spring Break and hopefully there,  with the help of the ocean, I can continue collecting my thoughts on how to deal with the big G word.

 

peace, love, and Witt.

Senior year is full of obligations such as senior comprehensive tests, senior comprehensive essays, the GRE, and other standardized ways to “test all of the knowledge you have acquired thus far blahblahblahblah.” However, I have realized that despite all this, another task that comes from being a senior in college is that your decision making process is often challenged and magnified.

Freshmen year, decisions fall along the lines of: 

Should I go out Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday- or all of the above?

Sophomore year decisions are mostly: 

Can I go back to all of the fun from freshmen year?

Junior year decisions are a little more serious:

Should I like get an internship or something?

And then there is senior year:

Is this what I want to do with my life? Do I really want to waste my time filling out this one last application when there is a chance I will not get selected to fulfill this opportunity? Do I risk losing out on lucrative opportunities that are not set in stone, for the one current opportunity that could give me an experience of a lifetime? Do I actually need to go to graduate school? Which standardized test(s) do I really need to take? Should I take a year off? Can I stand to live at home with my parents until I figure out what I’m supposed to do with my life?

Recently, I had to make yet another big decision. I had applied to go on the Africa trip to Lesotho (through Wittenberg) that would leave the day after graduation and return about a month later.  It was something that I had always held a great deal of interest in doing, so I figured it was an opportunity that I should try and take.  So, I applied for the trip and didn’t get in.  I was not upset that I didn’t get in, I just figured that it was not meant to be and so I moved along and started trying to line up other opportunities for the summer (working in Colorado, working in Michigan, working anywhere but at home).  This week, I got a phone call saying that there was now an open spot on the trip and I was asked if I was still interested. Well needless to say, this threw me for a complete loop. Everything happens for a reason- why am I being presented this opportunity again? I analyzed and analyzed… talked to my parents and analyzed again.  Finally, I came to the conclusion that although this would be a wonderful opportunity probably warranting the experience of a lifetime, it would be basically delaying the inevibatble: the scary and harsh REAL WORLD. I think that in the long run, going on this trip would just make it that much harder to re-enter the USA without the comfort of the Wittenberg bubble that I had as a support for 4 years. So today, I declined what (at one point) was an opportunity that I could have seen myself completely loving.  And that is a prime example of the decision process that comes with senior year.

Cheers.

So, it has been a while.

Well, let’s see. Winter break consisted of:

-A trip to Las Vegas

-The Flu

-A Realization that I probably should not live at home for long periods of time

-Applications for the real world

-Another realization that New Years Eve may be one of the most overrated holidays that we celebrate

-Family

-Cavs game

-Oh and of course, what Cleveland winter break wouldn’t be complete without being snowed in?

So, that was my break in a nutshell. I must say, I have never been so excited to come back to school after a break than I was after this one. Maybe its because this break was not really a break- but quite simply a period of time to reflect on how I have no idea what path to travel down after college. What lovely thoughts to have floating through your head for 3 weeks!

When I came back, I was under the false belief that I had my schedule nicely plotted out. Nope. Due to an error that neither I nor my advisor noticed, I have had to do the Add/Drop run around begging professors to let me into their classes and jumping through their offices to get them to sign all of the required slips. Yet, despite all of this chaos, this has been one of the best weeks I have had at Wittenberg! This whole “I’m a second semester senior” mentality could either be the very best or the very worst mindset for me!

We recently had our soccer banquet (the Sunday before classes started) and that was just another reality that I am done with something that used to consume lots of time and lots of my life.  It was very weird  and surreal but I can bet that is how it will be for the rest of my life, so, I’m getting used to it. (Hey Mr. Roeble).

Well, those are the updates for now.  Happy -15 degrees outside day!

So, it has been a while.

Let’s recap:

1st sign of being a senior:

Final Witt soccer game ever: University of Chicago 4, Wittenberg 0.

Honestly, if we were going to lose, that is how I would have preferred we do it. Go big or go home.

I must say that as each senior was respectively pulled out of that game, a whole new wave of fear, anxiety, sadness, and seniority crept over me.  That truly was the first real sign that after this year, a variety of changes will occur and the only certainty we have is that it WILL happen.  I am pretty sure that I cried the entire 6 hour ride home and at least once each day of the following week.  It is the weirdest feeling to know that something big has been removed from your identity as a person and no matter how many soccer leagues or teams I may play on in the future, it will not be the same.  Yes there are the positives: I will have more time to devote to finding a suitable career path for life after college, I will be able to socialize more often, I will basically have more freedom- however, freedom being thrust upon you is not always desirable.

I know I will move on, but more time is definitely required.

2nd sign of being a senior:

Thanksgiving break.

Usually Thanksgiving break entails more family than friends and doing a whole lot of nothing. However, this year was shockingly different. The class of ‘05 had a strong desire to see basically EVERYONE.  There was seriously a small reunion at bW3s where I was overwhelmed with both people I have and have not seen in 4 years. It was odd, but great. I honestly believe that it finally clicked: no one knows for sure where they will be in the next year so there is much uncertainty with what familiar faces from high school may be around as time proceeds…

Besides this, break was definitely needed. I always find that breaks at Wittenberg are strategically planned to push you JUST enough to the point that you WILL benefit mentally, physically, and emotionally from taking temporary time off.

…And I guess a 3rd sign of being a senior is that I turn 22 this Sunday.

TWENTY TWO: 8 years from 30, 18 from 40, 28 from 50…need I say more?

I’m sure more signs will follow. That is definitely all for now.

So, on Wednesday we hosted Allegheny for the semi-finals.  After regulation and 2 overtimes, the score was 0-0 which meant penalty kicks.  I’m not going to lie, as the clock wound down in the 2nd overtime, I tried to think back to the last time I had been in a shootout and I’m pretty sure it was 5th grade recreation soccer. Needless to say, I was incredibly nervous.  However, our team advanced 4-2 and made it to the finals.

Saturday we hosted Wooster for the conference championship.  Can you say deja vu? At the end of regulation, the score was 0-0 yet again.  However this time, at the end of the 2nd overtime (just as I began to get the penalty kick “I’m going to vomit” feeling in my throat) we scored. Sure it wasn’t the prettiest of goals, but we were dominating the game for the most part after the 1st half of regulation, thus it was only a matter of time until we scored.

2 awesome games warranting 2 of the most amazing and unforgettable feelings. I don’t think I will ever forget sprinting down the field to celebrate with my team after the pks or the winning goal.  Ever.

We found out today that our first battle of the NCAA tournament will be held at Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Michigan.  (I was hoping for Florida. Oh well).  Hopefully our hard work will continue to pay off!

Tiger up.

So last weekend was fall break, and luckily I got the opportunity to spend it back home in C-town.

It was wonderful to relax and sit around watching the Buckeyes and Browns with the ‘rents. 

This past week back however, was not an easy transition. I had a huge behavioral neuroscience test Friday and since I (of course) got 0 work accomplished at home, I had to make up for THAT in addition to having a big game vs. Earlham (which we won 3-1) and multiple practices.  Just yet another friendly lesson on time management.  

Friday we traveled to Allegheny (for our Saturday game) and had quite a chaotic roadtrip.  Leaving at 3:30 we figured we would reach Meadville in plenty of time, but weather and our bus driver proved us otherwise.  After we stopped at our coach’s favorite Mexican restaurant at the point of near starvation, things got ugly.  We overshot our hotel and our bus driver took it upon himself to try and turn around in muddy wet grass. Needless to say we got stuck in the mud, 5 minutes away from our hotel.  The 2 parents that were already in Meadville had to transport us from the bus to our hotel at 11:30pm.  Finally we all got to the hotel, and we were in bed by midnight. Yes. Our fantastic roadtrip. We battled through adversity (and the mud) on Sautrday and pulled out of Allegheny with a tie which was enough to secure us a place in the playoffs.

Other than that, I am trying desperately to push aside the fact that Wednesday is our last regular game of the season, of my (and 5 others) senior season.  Yeah definitely not going down that road. 

Well thats all for now. Tiger up.

So, homecoming weekend came and went (A sure sign that this year is going way too fast).

The weekend was a success, although I think I had too many expectations on what it would entail exactly.  Our house was quickly transformed into a small hotel for alumni and that actually turned out to be quite fun.  It was nice to see and spend time with the soccer alumni who graduated both last year and when I was a freshman because some of them I have not seen in a small decade.  Once they got back however, it felt like they had never left and I found myself wondering how I will feel on my first homecoming experience.  Anyways, arriving home Saturday night was extremely humorous as our number of alumni tenants had basically tripled and seemed to include some that neither I nor my housemates had ever seen in our lives.

Saturday was also a bittersweet day… the soccer team beat Hiram 2-0 and it was also senior night for myself and the other 5 seniors.  It was an out of body experience to walk across the field with my parents because I honestly still do not feel like it is my senior year of college.  Clearly I’m still in denial and will remain here for quite a long time.  All in all, it was a very nice weekend. Got to spend time my family as well as my friends: old and new.

We have a big game on Wednesday against Kenyon, and then on Saturday we travel to Oberlin where I will depart thereafter for good old Solon, Ohio.  I am very excited to go home.  Little changes of scenery here and there make returning to Wittenberg even more refreshing.  That is all for now